So, now you’re ready to explore who you are capable of becoming. Congratulations! Just even making the decision to take this time to do so says a whole lot about how much you’re willing to invest in yourself.
There are some obstacles that you may have to overcome. It might be objection from your peers, disbelief of the change from your family, and a resistance of a change of behavior from yourselve, etc. These objections, in the great scheme of things, do not matter. That’s right, they don’t matter in the slightest. What will get you through is a solid conviction about who you would like to be perceived as.
It doesn’t matter if you change your behavior overnight, or if it takes the (some would consider requisite) 90 days to habituate that behavior. It doesn’t matter if your parents don’t believe you, or if your friends don’t like the immediate change. In the long run, this is what you need to do to be happy, and they will learn to accept the change.
It’s also okay to relapse once in a while, as long as you remind yourself why you’re making these changes. So, the first lesson, is to find your Why. That person that you want to be already exists in you, but sometimes it’s hidden, and we’re going to coax it out.
Grab a pencil and a new notebook. Find a quiet 15 minutes of your day, make a cup of coffee, and begin to answer these questions:
What aspects of my current behavior do I like?
How do people perceive me?
What kind of impression do I leave? (ask some friends of yours about their first impressions, if this one is a toughie to do on your own)
How does my version of the “adult” me differ from who I am today?
Complete this sentence: When I grow up, I want to be seen as________________
What aspects of my current behavior do I need to get rid of in order to become that version of me?
What characters (from books, movies, real-life idols) do I admire? What about their qualities attracts me?
Hopefully you didn’t just write down a few sentences, but have a page full of words. Read through your words and see if you can find a common theme. This “theme” will become your mantra to remind yourself daily of who you are. It could just be key words: Gracious, Poised, Put-Together, Dependable/Reliable, Elegant, Mysterious. It could be phrases as well. But find that word/phrase. Then take a sticky note, and write that word/phrase onto about 5 pages. This you will distribute around your house/office/car in a discreet place that you will easily see. These are your reminders that will trigger your conviction, and help you develop the necessary habit for an ultimate change.
Here’s the funny thing, we live in a world of habits. Our habits define who we are and how we react to things and situations. The easiest way to change our habits is to consistently remind ourselves of the change, and the reason for the change. If you don’t like the idea of the sticky note, change your background of your phone to reflect that theme. (We look at our phone much more than we really need to…)
Also, this theme isn’t written in stone. You might find that you can tweak that theme. That’s OK! Try this for at least until that theme becomes implanted in your mind. Soon, you’ll find that what you do, how you act, how you react, will shift based on this one simple approach.
Please follow and like us: